Being a parent is not an easy job. Whether you are parent to a toddler or to a teenager, your responsibility is no less in any case. It gets more difficult when you try to discipline your child. All parents have their own style of parenting but still the commonly searched topic on internet is ‘How to Discipline Your Child in Healthy and Friendly Way’.
It is a common belief that a child’s first school is their home. They gradually inculcate the behaviour of their parents. Parents who are being harsh on their children in order to discipline are passing toxic stress to their children which is doing no good to them rather it can adversely impact the child’s entire life. It can do more harm than good. There is more likelihood of witnessing negative outcomes than positive.
Parents need to modify their approach of parenting and little changes in their day-to-day encounters with their children can create a big difference in the attitude of their children. Recently UNICEF has published an article on Positive discipline for better mental and physical health and a happy childhood, wherein they consulted Lucie Cluver, Oxford University professor of Child and Family Social Work to explore how the approach can help parents build positive relationships with their children. Based on the said Article following are the suggestions for the parents who are surfing internet for ‘How to Discipline Your Child in Healthy and Friendly Way’:
One on one chat is basically to promote your child to talk to you. This activity could be as small as of 5 minutes.You may have one on one conversation with your child while playing some game or working together. Be a good listener. Allow your child to put across their thoughts. Do not judge your child and give your suggestions only when it is extremely necessary. It is the best activity to build trust and good relationship with your child.
Everybody loves compliment and so do our children. Compliment is the key to make your child feel special. Parents often focus on correcting their children and thereby paying all their attention to weaknesses of the children. Children prosperon praise. It makes them feel special. This can help in encouraging positive behaviour and self-discipline.
Instead of telling your child what they should not do, make it effective by telling what they should do. Give your child a clear instruction about what you expect from them. But make sure your expectations are realistic and achievable for your child. Remember you are not here to fail your child but to introduce them to the joy of achievement. It will eventually help the child in self-regulation.
The time when you feel your child is getting difficult for you to handle, instead of lecturing or punishing, distract them creatively. Give them a time-out may be by changing the topic or going for a walk and channelize their energy towards positive behaviour. If the situation gets difficult give some space to the child to settle down and then propose your thoughts.
Every action has a result. Mostly we tag the children based on the results of their known or unknown actions. First of all, do not jump on conclusions and come up with punishments for your child.Do not judge your child on the basis of their action rather encourage them for better behaviour. Give them an opportunity to explain their action and you can explain the consequences of the bad behaviour or incorrect actions. Instead of shouting or using physical violence for the mistakes of your child, correct them by taking away their favourite activity like taking away their phone or not allowing the play time.
But discipline should not be something which is forced upon any child, but it should be the one which a child decides for themselves. A child who is Socially and Emotionally Intelligent can easily check their behaviour, habits, responsibility, thoughts, and actions.
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