NFL Week 5 picks against the spread Sam Martin Jersey White , totals: Meet my friend Graham Have you met Graham?In 2016 an Australian road safety program conceived of the idea of a modified human capable of surviving a car crash. The result is what you see in the link above—a hideous multi-nippled abomination with a concave face and all sorts of horrifying details. In spite of its grotesque appearance, the science appears sound, and Graham seemed quite capable of survival.Of course, the image quickly became a meme on Twitter. What doesn’t? You can still see it floating out there, conjured at times for amusement of small audiences. That’s where it resides now; I have no idea if Graham actually made roads safer in Australia.But I think about Graham now and then when I think about football. In the breadth of this insanely dumb sport, we still cannot fathom just how unthinkable it is to put bodies through the rigors of American football. There are any number of Olympic sports that could have caught on at some point in ancient times to become a popular sport for America—hell we were doing it for a good while with baseball after all—and instead we’re left with near-murder every Sunday and a legacy of broken brains, broken bodies and really stupid people governing it all.Anyway, in other notes on football being dumb, here’s a story about college football coach Mike Leach leaving a fake playsheet for the Texas Longhorns to find. I hate this story as much as I love it, for it confirms why football people have to be paranoid and delusional, but it’s also excellent because no sane, rational person should have fallen for such an obvious trap. Let’s make some picks.New York +1 vs. DenverI don’t know why I keep putting my trust in the Jets to do much of anything. However, Denver is coming off a short rest after throwing everything at Patrick Mahomes and failing in every which way imaginable. If there’s ever going to be a chance for the Jets to get back on the page and remind people how good their defense is, this seems like a proper spot.Los Angeles -5 vs. OaklandI know I don’t like road favorites, and rest assured the Chargers are absolutely on the road here. The LA Galaxy stadium they’ve shacked up in is smack-dab in Carson and you better believe South LA is about the Raiders. What a dumb decision by the league. What a dumb T.J. Jones Jersey , idiotic decision. But you know what? The Raiders still suck and their lone win of the season is an affront in the eyes of God. The Chargers may have struggled with a passionate 49ers squad, but they should be a touchdown favorite here. Take value.Houston -3 vs. DallasThe defining element of the Lions loss to the Cowboys was their inability to exploit the weaknesses of their opponents. Rest assured, there’s a lot of problems with Dallas right now, and Houston looks to have a better shot to match up well here. The Texans have their backs to the wall. Expect Deshaun Watson to keep looking like he’s been looking, but the Texans defense is more likely to clamp down on Zeke.Atlanta +3 @ PittsburghThe time for Steelers dominance in betting lines is over; that a three-point home field advantage is all they’ll get against this injured Falcons squad is telling. Anyway, the total at 57 is not worth taking, although it would be tempting to take the over; I’m just going to put my trust in Pittsburgh’s defense to continue to look atrocious.Arizona +4.5 @ San FranciscoI like the odds on the Cardinals here. They’re an awful team, but it’s hard to go winless in the NFL and the 49ers are vulnerable and without a proper quarterback. Let’s just see what happens. Might be a loss here, but I won’t fret it much. Not that I do the work of compiling my previous week records anyway; besides what good is that to you? Records are for chumps.Cincinnati vs. Miami UNDER 49.5I can’t believe Cincinnati is good. It took all these years, and still it feels like fool’s gold. I suppose there’s never been a better time to climb onto the extremely short Aggro Crag of the AFC North, which is why I’ll have a sensible chuckle when Baltimore takes it handily in December.Kansas City -3 vs. JacksonvilleI BELIEVE IN PATTY MAHOMES.All the restDetroit vs. Green Bay UNDER 51Carolina -7 vs. New YorkBaltimore -3 @ ClevelandMinnesota +1 @ PhiladelphiaNew Orleans -6.5 vs. WashingtonBuffalo vs. Tennessee UNDER 39.5New England vs. Indianapolis OVER 50.5Seattle +7 vs. Los Angeles ALLEN PARK, Mich. (AP)Khyri Thornton missed the first six games of the season while suspended, and although the Detroit Lions played fine for a while without the defensive tackle, toward the end of his ban, a key teammate went down with a serious injury. Haloti Ngata went on injured reserve a couple of weeks ago following an elbow injury A'Shawn Robinson Jersey White , leaving Detroit without a crucial interior defensive lineman. That’s an area where Thornton may now be able to help. ”That was like the heart and soul of our defensive line, but at the end of the day, he always tells us, keep pushing forward, play for him,” Thornton said. Thornton was suspended for violating the NFL’s substance-abuse policy, but he’s now eligible to return and the Lions activated him Monday. Detroit is coming off an open date and will host Pittsburgh on Sunday night. The break in the schedule came after the Lions dropped two games in a row to fall to 3-3. ”Obviously, it came at a time that we needed it, when a couple guys went down and had some bumps and bruises,” wide receiver Marvin Jones said. ”But it was great for the mind – to escape and just to take some time to reflect and then kind of let it pass by.” Teams often talk about how the open date came at a good time for one reason or another, but the Lions in particular were reeling a bit. After a promising start to the season, Detroit lost to Carolinaand New Orleans , with the offensive line struggling to protect quarterback Matthew Stafford from jarring hits. Thornton started six games last season, and his return could help on the defensive side. Punter Sam Martin – who has been on the reserve/non-football injury list – was at practice Monday, working off to the side a bit with other specialists during the portion open to reporters. The big injury that’s been affecting the Lions all season has been tackle Taylor Decker’s shoulder problem. Coach Jim Caldwell didn’t say when Decker might return from the physically unable to perform list Womens DeShawn Shead Jersey , but he gave an indication of the challenge he’ll face when he does. ”I think it’s just like anything else. It just takes a little time to get their timing back and physical nature of the game, and all of those things that go along with it,” Caldwell said. ”It’s a process – best way I could explain it to you.” The Steelers have won two in a row and have a two-game lead in the AFC North, so the Lions won’t have an easy matchup as they try to avoid a third straight loss. The extra week to prepare shouldn’t hurt. ”Just kind of gives you an opportunity to kind of look at yourself a little bit. You got a couple of extra days,” Caldwell said. ”You do a little bit more self-scout, those kinds of things. But then also you get a chance to get a little ahead on the next opponent as well. So, you get a little extra viewing time in terms of preparation.” Caldwell also said a week without a game can help players refocus, especially if their most recent game was a frustrating one. ”I mentioned last week a little bit that sometimes it’s not a bad thing to feel a bit of a pressure from a loss and things of that nature and stew on it a while, but then you get to a point too that you got to be able to put it behind you,” Caldwell said. ”I think the bye week gives you a chance. You can fester through your bye week, and time to get back to work now.” NOTES: DE Cornelius Washington said he didn’t have any specific information about why he was inactive for the game at New Orleans, and he wasn’t going to speculate. ”That’s outside my pay grade,” he said. … The Lions waived QB Brad Kaaya. —